Life is not making a living, but designing your life

Using metaphors can be powerful and inspirational for creating a mission or identity. I am a …. (fill in a metaphore from Nature). You can start by choosing a primary element (fire, water, earth & air) and then identify with specific items or places in nature you feel drawn to. It is sometimes helpful to identify with a certain animal which has certain values and charachter-trades you seek or admire which will fit your chosen role. Life design uses natural metaphores for the several cycles and development phases (growth) in our lives. When you identify your personal area of growth in your current life phase, you can take apropriate action.

Robert Dilts‘ alignment exercise (generally used in NLP-practice):

• increase income,
• decrease expenses, or
• adjust credit debt payments.

Several options exist for increasing income but all may not be alternatives for a particular situation. These possibilities include upgrading a present job to one that pays more; switching jobs to a better-paying one; working overtime; having someone additional in the household seek and find employment where more money is made than spent; qualifying for assistance, either public or private such as food stamps, child support, grants or subsidies; and renting or selling assets that are no longer needed and/or used.

Temporary adjustments in expenses may provide temporary income increases. Stop payroll deductions for retirement, savings, or education funds. Adjust tax withholding so that enough is being withheld but a large tax refund will not be coming next spring. Do more home production; garden or sew if you already have the skill and equipment needed. Use community resources for recreation. Pay insurance premiums monthly instead.

To decrease expenses either CUT DOWN or CUT OUT. For most people going “cold turkey” or cutting out entirely may not be possible. Above all, to cut expenses, go to a cash-only basis; put all credit cards out of reach.

Certain expenses cannot be cut out entirely because of health or safety concerns such as utilities, food, health, recreation, and insurance.

[Reference (renewed) source: Solve Financial Problems]

Recommended reading:

• Rich Dad, Poor Dad: What the Rich Teach Their Kids About Money-That the Poor and Middle Class Do Not! by Robert T. Kiyosaki, Sharon L. Lechter (Contributor)
• Why We Want You to be Rich: Two Men – One Message – Donald J. Trump, Robert T. Kiyosaki, Meredith McIver, Sharon Lechter

• I am now open to receive the abundant good that God has for me
• God is the source of all my good, I look only to him for my supply
• I vision only that which is for my highest good
• I speak only good, kind, loving and harmonious words
• I now release all fear, worry and doubt into the loving arms of God
• All that the father has is mine, I rejoice in it now
• I now let go and let God work in my financial affairs
• I think only loving positive and uplifting thoughts
• Money is positive, money is my friend
• I am now open to receive the abundant good that God has for me
• It is good to be wealthy
• God wants me to share in his good fortune
• I use my wealth wisely
• I now decree to God that I am ready to receive his abundance
• Financial success is mine, I accept it now
• I send out in thought only that which I desire to have returned
• The good I send out in thought, comes back to me multiplied
• I now have a clear and open connection with my higher self
• Money is coming to me easily and effortlessly
• I love the work I do, it is a part of God’s divine plan
• I am now one with infinite intelligence
• I am an open channel expressing God’s will
• God is guiding me in everything I do
• I deserve to be rich, I accept it now
• God goes before me making everything right
• I now live in a loving harmonious universe
• God is abundant, I am one with God
• As a loving father, God wants me to enjoy his good wealth
• Success is mine, I accept it now
• I now decree to God my intention to share his wealth
• I use my money wisely for the good of all
• Money is circulating freely in my life
• Money comes to me in many ways, through God
• I am divinely guided in all that I do
• The Lord wants me to be prosperous, I say YES!
• I now gives thanks to a loving, abundant God

Written by Jeff Staniforth – AffirmWare 7 Part Affirmation Course? Visit http://www.AffirmWare.com.au
Quoted at the forum of Positive-club.com.

The quality of your relationships is the quality of your life. This advice is primarily meant for you and the relationship with your Significant Other (SO).

1. You get into a relationship to give something rather than to go to get something out.
   Empowering Question: How can I give more to this relationship?
2. Avoid anchoring your negative emotions to the people you are with
3. Keep arguments / discussions short and resolve them as soon as possible
4. Be playful and adventurous in the growth of your relationship
5. Show you love and care in the way that fits the need of the person involved. How does this person know someone loves them? Say it, show it, touch in a specific way. (find out the primary representation system) How do you know you are most loved by me? Is is absolutely necessary that I show you that I love you by buying you thing, taking you places or looking a certain way? (visual) Is is absolutely necessary that I say it (auditory) Is it absolutely necessary that I touch you in a certain way (kinesthetic)
6. Create key-moments that are fun or special
7. Enjoy where you are right now, do not fear the (possible) end. Act as if the relationship is going to last forever. Mutual commitment is the identity of every lasting relationship.

Identify exactly what you want in a relationship and what you don’t want.
What do you want your relationship to be about?
What unique things can you do to enhance the relationship?

Resolving Conflicts

International Online Training Program On Intractable Conflict (OTPIC)
Problemcategories and reflections on several wordwide conflicts:

• Framing – Problems defining what the conflict is about and how it is to be addressed
• Scoping - Problems defining who else is involved, what they think, and what the context or the environment of the conflict is
• Communication - Problems talking with and/or understanding people involved in the conflict (on your side and on other sides).
• Fact-Finding – Problems agreeing on facts relating to the situation
• Procedural Issues – Problems determining how decisions should be made or regarding the fairness or justice of the decision making process.
• Escalation – Problems involving the intensification of the conflict
• Force – Problems associated with using coercive approaches to the conflict (approaches which try to force one side to do something against its will).
• Integrative System – Problems associated with relationships between people or groups
• Exchange - Problems negotiating win-win trades

[Conflict Research Consortium, University of Colorado, USA. ]

General Social Problems

• Social Issues (WikiPedia): Social issues are matters which directly or indirectly affects many or all members of a society and are considered to be problems, controversies related to moral values, or both.
  Social issues include poverty, violence, pollution, injustice, suppression of human rights, discrimination, and crime, as well as abortion, gay marriage, gun control, autism, and the teaching of evolution, and religion, to name a few.
  Social issues are related to the fabric of the community, including conflicts among the interests of community members, and lie beyond the control of any one individual.
• SIMPOS: Netherlands foundation for information on social problems and occult tendencies. A somewhat critical view on social themes related to New Age, religious cults, etc.

1. Task Definition
1.1 Define the information problem
1.2 Identify information needed in order to complete the task (to solve the information problem)

2. Information Seeking Strategies
2.1 Determine the range of possible sources (brainstorm)
2.2 Evaluate the different possible sources to determine priorities (select the best sources)

3. Location and Access
3.1 Locate sources (intellectually and physically)
3.2 Find information within sources

4. Use of Information
4.1 Engage (e.g., read, hear, view, touch) the information in a source
4.2 Extract relevant information from a source

5. Synthesis
5.1 Organize information from multiple sources
5.2 Present the information

6. Evaluation
6.1 Judge the product (effectiveness)
6.2 Judge the information problem-solving process (efficiency)

This method is used by Big6™ to teach information literacy in schools.

The art of problem solving

Although problem solving is something people have a natural tendency to do, giving this process the status of an Art also suggests more complexity to this subject. Problem-solving goes beyond physical, cultural, science or language. Everybody can solve problems, in fact we practically do it all the time. Every thought and every decision is in a way solving part of a problem. At the same time one might suggest by those decisions and actions following this (personal) problem solving process, new problems of another kind arise. Most of our economy is based on solving and creating new problems in some form. Then why bother analyzing and describing this process you might ask. Because when you know the underlying principles, your processes of solving problems become easier, more fun, and it helps you grow as an individual giving your environment a positive influence. Most interesting about solving problems are the processes themselves, not primarily the result. I might reframe that to enjoying the process of getting what you want.Like other Art-studies, problem solving has several components: history, practices, theories, models, concepts, references in other arts, sciences and spiritually. There can be no final consensus on a best way to present it because describing the Art of problem solving is in itself a problem solving process, which is never finished.

Problem Classification

To define your problem-solving strategy it is important to classify problems first into one of the three following categories.

• Level 1: Urgent & Important – Highest Priority
• Level 2: Important / not so urgent – Medium Priority
• Level 3: Minor importance / no urgency – Low Priority

If you have more than one problem choose the one with the highest priority.

Essentially, there are two types of problems: analytic and divergent. An analytic problem is convergent in nature, that is, it has a single correct answer. Divergent problems allow for many possible solutions.

Phases in formulating a solution

Problem-development

1. formulating the problem (what and how did it get your attention, perceived facts)
2. acceptation (accept the problem as is)
3. reformulating (problem description, datasheet, examples, theories, references)

Idea-development
Questions which could be asked in this phase:
- what is good about this problem or situation?
- how can I use this problem or situation?
- what is not yet perfect?
- what am I willing to do to improve this situation?
- what will I stop doing to improve the situation?
- what is funny about it, that I didn’t notice before?
- how will I enjoy when I reach my goal and this problem is solved?

1. analyze and purge (effort to find logical solutions)
2. exhaustion / frustration
3. relaxation / incubation
4. creative sidestep
5. Eureka!

Idea judgment

1. working out the plan (critical phase)
2. planning the approach

Who?

Who are the people involved in a problem-solution team?

• Problem-owner (Who’s problem is it?)
• Fellow Problem owner or involved persons (participants in solving the problem)
  - Generalists
  - Specialists
  - Outsiders
• Secretary (notes everything what is being said)
• Facilitator or coach (is not involved with the content, only the process)

Session rules:

1. postpone judgment
2. you are allowed to lie
3. privacy to the outside, openness to the inside
4. Extra attention to negative questions or remarks
5. No hierarchy, no arrogance
6. Critical phase afterwards

Brainstorming Many people, when trying to solve a problem, develop a mental block. This may be a result of ‘thinking too hard’. Then, later, without conscious effort, a solution comes to mind. One way to overcome a mental block in the problem-solving process is to hold a brainstorming session.

The purpose of brainstorming is to generate as many ideas as possible. The more ideas a team has to choose from, the greater the chances are of finding one that is successful. Ideas are generated rapidly, which prevents individuals from dwelling on why an idea might not work. Evaluation of the ideas comes at a later stage of solution development.

General guidelines for holding brainstorming sessions:

1. Allow no criticism. Some people become self-conscious when they feel they may be criticized, which inhibits them from offering ideas. For this reason, it is important that ideas are not judged at this time.
2. Encourage outrageous ideas. This often results in team members going beyond the normal thought process.
3. Encourage piggybacking of other ideas. One idea often stimulates a better one.
4. Evaluate the ideas at the end of the session or after a day or two. Eliminate those that are not feasible.

Any criticism of ideas must be constructive. The team should know that it is okay to laugh at and have fun discussing the ideas. Keep in mind that decisions made at this time are not always final; ideation is an ongoing process.

Besides the coach as moderator, each brainstorming group should select a leader to direct the discussion. If a leveling off of ideas occurs, the leader should encourage new ideas by asking questions such as:

“By altering the materials how could we . . . ?”
“What might happen if we changed its shape?”
“How could we adapt it to make it move faster?”
“How can we make it smaller, lighter, etc.?”

One team member (or the secretary) should record all ideas and useful comments.