Guidelines for Social Relations


The quality of your relationships is the quality of your life. This advice is primarily meant for you and the relationship with your Significant Other (SO).

  1. You get into a relationship to give something rather than to go to get something out.
    Empowering Question: How can I give more to this relationship?
  2. Avoid anchoring your negative emotions to the people you are with
  3. Keep arguments / discussions short and resolve them as soon as possible
  4. Be playful and adventurous in the growth of your relationship
  5. Show you love and care in the way that fits the need of the person involved. How does this person know someone loves them? Say it, show it, touch in a specific way. (find out the primary representation system) How do you know you are most loved by me? Is is absolutely necessary that I show you that I love you by buying you thing, taking you places or looking a certain way? (visual) Is is absolutely necessary that I say it (auditory) Is it absolutely necessary that I touch you in a certain way (kinesthetic)
  6. Create key-moments that are fun or special
  7. Enjoy where you are right now, do not fear the (possible) end. Act as if the relationship is going to last forever. Mutual commitment is the identity of every lasting relationship.

Identify exactly what you want in a relationship and what you don’t want.
What do you want your relationship to be about?
What unique things can you do to enhance the relationship?

Resolving Conflicts

International Online Training Program On Intractable Conflict (OTPIC)
Problemcategories and reflections on several wordwide conflicts:

  • Framing – Problems defining what the conflict is about and how it is to be addressed
  • Scoping – Problems defining who else is involved, what they think, and what the context or the environment of the conflict is
  • Communication – Problems talking with and/or understanding people involved in the conflict (on your side and on other sides).
  • Fact-Finding – Problems agreeing on facts relating to the situation
  • Procedural Issues – Problems determining how decisions should be made or regarding the fairness or justice of the decision making process.
  • Escalation – Problems involving the intensification of the conflict
  • Force – Problems associated with using coercive approaches to the conflict (approaches which try to force one side to do something against its will).
  • Integrative System – Problems associated with relationships between people or groups
  • Exchange – Problems negotiating win-win trades

[Conflict Research Consortium, University of Colorado, USA. ]

General Social Problems

  • Social Issues (WikiPedia): Social issues are matters which directly or indirectly affects many or all members of a society and are considered to be problems, controversies related to moral values, or both.
    Social issues include poverty, violence, pollution, injustice, suppression of human rights, discrimination, and crime, as well as abortion, gay marriage, gun control, autism, and the teaching of evolution, and religion, to name a few.
    Social issues are related to the fabric of the community, including conflicts among the interests of community members, and lie beyond the control of any one individual.
  • SIMPOS: Netherlands foundation for information on social problems and occult tendencies. A somewhat critical view on social themes related to New Age, religious cults, etc.

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